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Meet the Pyro


♫ [Team Fortress intro music] ♫ I fear no man. But that thing… it scares me. (Masked breathing) No, I… I ain’t, I ain’t talking about that freak, alright? He’s not here, is she? How do I get this f#@%ing thing off!? One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask. [O.S.] What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty? ♫ Do you believe in magic? ♫ ♫ In a young girl’s heart… ♫ ♫ how the music can free her whenever it starts. ♫ ♫ And it’s magic, if the music is groovy. ♫ ♫ It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie. ♫ ♫ I’ll tell you about the magic, it’ll free your soul, ♫ ♫ but it’s like trying to tell a stranger about rock and roll. ♫ [Heavy screams!] ♫ If you believe in magic… ♫ ♫ don’t bother to choose. ♫ ♫ If it’s jug band music or rhythm and blues. ♫ [Scout screams!] ♫ Your feet start tapping and you can’t seem to find… ♫ ♫ how you got there, so just blow your mind. ♫ No! [Medic screams!] ♫ If you believe in magic, come along with me. ♫ ♫ We’ll dance until morning, just you and me. ♫ ♫ And maybe, if the music is right… ♫ I’m burning! [Scout screams!] Help! [O.S.] Aaahhh! ♫ [Team Fortress closing theme music] ♫ ♫ If you believe in magic… ♫ ♫ [Whistling.] ♫

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